Advocacy

Did she do it for her children?

A true story.
Lizzy’s husband started abusing her physically shortly after their marriage. She hung in there and eventually had a baby girl. As the baby grew up, the abuse intensified. She took in all the abuse for the sake of her child.

A little down the road, Lizzy’s sister had a baby girl outside wedlock. She wanted to dump the child in a safe house and flee town but Lizzy opted to adopt the child. The baby girl grew up to become a beautiful young lady.

It didn’t take long before Lizzy’s husband began to abuse the young lady sexually. Earlier on, the young lady sounded the alarm but Lizzy dismissed it with a thoughtless wave of the hand.

Although Lizzy’s own child was a witness to the sexual abuse of her cousin and also raised the alarm, Lizzy would not have any of it. She was protective of her husband reputation, whatever that meant.

The two young ladies who had formed a bond became traumatized, having no one to confide in or trust.

When the abused lady couldn’t take it any more she committed suicide. No one outside the family knew why she took her life. Lizzy and her daughter were scared to speak up. The abuser went Scott free.

Lizzy’s daughter having had enough of her disfunctional family, secured admission in an out of town University and fled home. But she had no money to pay school fees. So she resorted to working to pay school fees and began having sex regularly with her male room mate inlieu of rent for accommodation.

While in school, she cut off all contacts with her parents. At home, the abuse of her mother continued until she died a miserable death. Shortly after her mother’s death, her father came down with a liver disease. Sadly, family members prevailed on her to drop out from the University and go back home to take care of her sick father until he too passed.

What nonsense!
What on earth was that woman doing in that marriage? Her made up consolation was that she stayed back for the sake of the children. What children? One killed herself. The other became a sex addict and suffered from chronic depression. So I ask again, what was the woman doing in a marriage that consumed her? Was it insecurity arising from fear of not being able to provide for herself? Was it true love that covers all transgressions? She is the only one that can answer that question. But she is gone!

Whether you should stay or not in an abusive relationship is a personal decision. However, women need to think deeply about making themselves objects of any form of abuse, let alone extreme abuse. If financial insecurity is the main cause of staying put in an abusive relationship, then the idea of “my man will take care of me” is a threat to womanhood. It also means that women need to shift away from that mind set. Come to think of it, you never can tell what the future will be for the man you think will take care of you.

Therefore, be wise. Be a woman. But be a woman that can take care of business if option “A” fails and your husband or boy friend is turning your life into a horror. Women must always be prepared to take charge of their lives.

But if a woman wants to die for a man who treats her like trash, it is her choice. After all, ” she died for her man” is not a bad thing to have on a gravestone.

About author
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief, Newspackng.
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