Ladies beware: By Dr Biodun Ogungbo
Recently, a young woman wrote of her experiences in the hands of a terrible man she met online who pretended to love her but ultimately defiled and damaged her for life. Chinwe said she befriended the chap on Facebook and subsequently fell in lust with him. For what else can we call what she reported as advice for other young people!
As the story unfolded, she jilted her boyfriend in the University to engage in an affair with this other man who made her do depraved acts and eventually cut off her nipple, blinded her in one eye and traumatised her psyche permanently. Chinwe learnt a hard lesson to be fair and perhaps undeserved in reality. For how could she have known that the knight in shiny armour was a certifiable sociopath?
There are many young women who are looking to develop a career and forge ahead in life. Many come across such ‘knights’ who promise heaven and earth to help make their dreams come true. The banker who promises to loan you money to start your business, the rich man who wants to support your fledgling snacks shop, the politician who wants to help you move from your one bedroom shack to a three bed-roomed house in Maitama, may be ‘he-goats’ just waiting to eat your yam. In return for nothing more than empty promises!
There are many Nigerian men who just cannot get enough and for whom sex still holds such awe. Everything in a skirt is game and they use their power, position, luck and opportunity to oppress young girls in desperate need of a bright future. These wolves often seen wearing flowing gowns and shiny bright suits end up inflicting intense psychological trauma on their young victims.
A way out
One way to avert trouble may be to involve someone else in your discussions. A second party you trust, a friend, a family member or your pastor may be engaged to listen to the plans and offer advice. Hidden meetings and secret rendezvous should be avoided especially if shrouded and cloaked with night.
However, as a really sensible woman also told me, being content with what you have and your current station in life is the real key to avoiding the unwelcome attentions of ravenous wolves. Greed begets greed and a false sense of entitlement is the real problem that labels you as bait. If you want what the joneses have, then you lay yourself open to manipulation, deception and falsity. Be content and stay true to yourself.
Dr Ogungbo, a Contributor to Newspackng, is a neurosurgeon with Brain and Surgery Consortium at 8 Buchanan Crescent, Off Aminu Kano Street, Wuse 2, Abuja.