“Good evening. This is Durumi Police Station. How can I help you.”
“Please, I need police presence at my place immediately.”
“Are there armed robbers around the area?”
“Oh no, no.”
“What is your emergency then?”
“It is my wife”
“What about your wife?”
“She is in a rage and threatening to beat me up.”
“Have you tried to calm her down?”
“Yes. But she is not listening. I think she is going to kill me this time.”
“What is the problem?”
“I took money from her purse to play naijabet.”
“And you lost the money?”
“Of course I did.”
“Why would you take money from her purse without her consent?”
“My Bible tells me we are one. Do you need consent from yourself to do something?“
“Isn’t there anyone in your area who can intervene before we get there?
“No one is interested in our fights anymore.”
“It is a long story. Let me just say, we are always fighting and everybody is fed up with us.”
“Have you talked to your pastor about this problem?
“Yes. Several times. He says my wife and I are children of satan. He doesn’t talk to us anymore and he has barred us from coming to his church.
“What do you do for a living?”
“Nothing at the moment. For God’s sake, why don’t you just come and rescue me first then you can ask all the questions you want.”
“I am sorry, I can’t come right away. Am the only one in the station at the moment.”
“So why have you been asking all these questions when you know you will not be able to come?“
“I am simply following our documentation procedure.”
“Ya right. Can you give me the phone number of another police station?”
“Of course. Let me give you that of Karamagigi police station.”
“Oh no. We have been there many times. The police officers there are all crooks.
Can I have the IG’s number instead?”
“Oga, are you drunk?”
“Officer, how can I be drunk this early in the day. It is only just 10pm. Hello, hello. Na wa for this country o.“
The line went dead.(©pda.files)