Life, Little Things and Laughter

Of Meghan, And Of Harry’s Princely Decision

Let’s sit the name “spade” properly on items that really are Spades.

Harry settled for Happiness!

Harry-Meghan engagement photo. Courtesy

I read stuff on the Tabloids monitoring the royal Decision he took.

I heard a lot, said.
I heard that she was Black.

I guess that was what really caught my eye and got me curious.
How would a Prince settle for… Black, when I knew stuff Dad often expressed, way back then, about his racial experiences in England?

“Naä wa fô this Guy.!” I first thought.
Agreed that racism had mellowed down a lot, compared to what it was in my Teen years.

Bu…t, does a Prince come out of the norm and just decide to settle for … Black?

To put more röfö röfö on the “kä’ka”, she came wearing on a status that was rather unacceptable to the ear.

Harry and Meghan casually dressed. Courtesy Pinecrest.

Meghan, a Divorcee!

More röfö röfö o, if you ask me.

I know too well that people rather prefer to cast aspersions on many things about a Woman’s life, than a Man’s.

If a Woman mistakenly “acquired” the “Comma”, of being a single Woman, or of being a single Mother, or of being a Divorcee, or of being Senior to the Man in the relationship with her or of being Opinionated, or of being Vocal, or of being Intelligent, she’d CERTAINLY run into societal trouble, when it came to delicate decisions that bother on marrying into a Family.

That’s what I understand, from being a Naija’an.

I recall my eldest Sister once called me up some years ago and dragged a matter with a firm hold on her reason.

She said I was intelligent and it would scare a Man off.

O—h Gosh!
As if I’m the one that made the Chemicals inside my head!

Her take was something like
Reduce growing your intelligence, if you want to marry!
Men would feel threatened! ”

I was sad and pissed at the same time.

Not necessarily pissed off her (who born me…?)
Rather I was pissed that such a yardstick existed at all.
What on earth stops Men from being more intelligent? I had ranted in my little head.

And I was sad that with all her exposure and intelligence, she could say such a thing.
Well, Dad wasn’t around, to shape that opinion.
He was toooo far out of human reach.
He was always the one dragging the wahalas of
“You must do like this, you must do like that… ”

I recall that the very last quarrel bothering on his
“by fire, by force ” mien I hated so much, was on my dressing.

Mum had just passed.
I went back home again, a short while after the burial, to check on him.

Me, that went all in the name of helping, fa.

Guess what I received?

He fought with pretty harsh words.
He wrote me off.
He claimed, then, that his Wife (Mumsie), even with age coming on her, to make her less concerned about looking good, dressed fäaar better than me, a much younger Woman to her.

“Leave me alone! ” I screamed within, with every fiber of my being.
“Just leave my life alone!
It is mine!!! ”

As he drove the words har-d in anger, I couldn’t keep quiet for ever.

“It’s my business! ” I hit back, implying without saying it, that it really is my business, not his.

I confess I don’t really know how to do some things that bother on what a side of me, adjudges as… Frivolities.

You could never catch me wearing on a lipstick, or maybe some rouge, on the Cheeks.
Big Sis went that far.
I grew, being laid-back.
And the kind of friends and lifestyle I’d adopted way too early, didn’t pamper that side of grooming me in to a Woman.

Laid-back ghaan.

To worsen things, Dad dragged other people into taking sides with him in the quarrel.
That made it more sore, deep within.

I was growing without having any money or status, compared to others ahead of me, in the Family.
He couldn’t stand it.

In short, there’s a part of him i real-ly hated in later years that they’d still been around.
He’d grown it up with the pressures of life.
Suddenly, I began to see Dad placing more value on Children who had money than those who didn’t have.

For real.
And I didn’t buy that at all.

Anyway, we quarrelled.
He tried to present me before one he places status upon, as a right off.

Well, I got my Bags and hit the Road the next Morning.

“I don’t blame you.
I blame myself and my busy-body care, care for others spirit. ” I told myself.

It was getting more difficult to relate with Dad without one small quarrel sauntering in.

I wanted to learn to mind my business and save my emotions from further hurt.
So I distanced myself for a reasonable while, till the moment I heard that he was ill.
Then that my busy-body care, care rushed to the front again.

Aah ah.

Anyway, let’s go back to elder Sis an… d Meghan.
Ac-tuall-y, Harry!

Big Sis began walking “wan kain ” role, in the absence of Dad who didn’t live long after that quarrel.

Her take was annoying, but really I wanted to pair that up with Dad’s view.
What would Dad have thought?
His opinion counted joor, quarrel or not.

Dad was the Man.
Dad was the one who should say.
Dad was the role player, for such thoughts about men, for me.

This my Dad that I knew…
Would he have missed road to tell me to “begin to become a Dundie” if you want to be accepted… ?

Not my Dad joor.
Anyway, you could never completely tell, with Dad.
But I didn’t understand at all what then was expected of me.

On some occasions, my sister had referred to Paul in the Bible, standing before a King who’d told him that knowledge made him mad.

Bu …t, was I supposed to block the healthy and rich flow of the Neurotransmitters that turn on my Intuition as a Person, just because of getting accepted by someone out there, because the world here, very unfairly pitched many things against Women?

Now, over to Meghan’s temporary dilemma and of course big Brother’s experience.

I recall the time a discussion popped up on big Bruv.
It was stuff on marriage.
He was dating the assistant Choir Leader, Sis Comfort.

I had watched the relationship grow.
I knew she cared about him.

When jist cropped in about them being together an… d marriage, bros came up with a surprise.
-those kinds of things you let out, scratching your Head by the side.

“Comfort has a Child.
I’m not comfortable with that. ” he belowed.

“Whaaa-t?” my eyes popped.
Mumsie didn’t know Comfort much.
I did, much more, worshipping in the same church, for a few years before my brother joined.
It was a “three of us” jist.

I knew auntie Confort and thought of her, not necessarily as my Brother’s Bae, but as… Comfort.
I thought she was nice and matured in the contributions she always brought on board if anything joined us together.
In short, I reall-y thought she’d make my Brother, a very good Wife.
She was homely
And simple by nature.

“But she’s not bad o! ” I chipped in, like one trying to arrange a Marriage.
I was quite young.
I didn’t know many things.
But I saw a fine Woman with a great nature and fine manners, in Comfort.
But my Brother waived things off.
I hadn’t been aware though, that she had a Son.

A few months after, I began seeing Bros with Bola, another member of the Church.


Bola was a piece of Beauty.
We all knew.
Comfort was no match.
She wasn’t ugly but she definitely wasn’t quite as pretty as Bola.
She only had grea-t Curves that Bola didn’t have.
You would naturally turn to admire her beauty, if you met Bola.
That fine.

When next Bros came to visit, and I was on holidays, I popped up the question.
I like stroking.
So, I began to stroke him.
And in the process warn him to be careful with Bola.

This my Brother was a handsome young Man.
Babes easily got attracted.
Two fine “pipo”.
But the idea of Bola didn’t seat at all with me.
She had a fine char-m alright, but she was always “manifesting Ogbanjé” in some Church Services.

I tried to make my Brother understand that it isn’t all that glitters that is Gold.
One day, at a time it was very clear that we were going to be looking at a Marriage in the Family, I mentioned again, stuff about the fact that the Bae was a host to “strong spirits”.

Bros told me they’d done Deliverance service on her.
An… d that was how Bros scouped wahala, into the Family.

Bola and Bros didn’t last.
But today, we have Children in our Family, not growing up in the presence of a Dad and Mom, together.

I don’t like the effects it (Separation) has on Children.

I thought it would have been just perfect if my Brother had settled for that level headed Woman called Comfort.

No one could understand why a Woman (Bola) could sudenly disappear from a matrimonial home, any day she liked, only to pop up a while after, with claims that she was with her Family.
No quarrel o.

Stories can be told, but it doesn’t mean that they can be believed.

Anyway, Children are growing apart today, in different Family hands, in a setting of another Marriage.
I still think the whole thing was a huge mistake.
And I think that the rejection of Comfort for her son, was the rejection of Happiness, for my Brother.
Bu… t, what do I know?

Let’s think Meghan joor!
I mentioned that it is tough, when a Woman has “comma”.
And it depends on the type of “comma”.

Meghan seem to have come with a bunch.

A woman with a defined hint of Black in her Genes, coming as a Divorcee nä wahala –on the surface.
To cap it, she’s older, though they seem not to care too much about such in their Clime.

I’ve watched and read up a bit, on Harry.
He comes across as someone kinda, down to earth.
He comes across as something not looking like a Prince in my Enid Blyton Books.
Oh, those fairy tale Princes that only need to blow a kiss on a Sleeping Beauty.
Prince ghaan.

Well, Harry is real.
Harry has the setbacks of not growing under a Mom’s care.
That’s tough.

Harry has had experiences in real life, in certain settings that had no room for Princely frivolities.
Harry has slept on har-d Stacks like other Soldiers, in a War Zone.
Who born whether imm royal?
In some aspects, he’s lived like every other ordinary person.

Agreed that he didn’t remain in the Military for long, but then, he didn’t leave on his own wish.
He was withdrawn!
Tafiä Media blew the lid on his Royalty, in a certain War.
Ten years is not bad if you ask me.
But my emphasis is that in Ten years, life had shaped a handsome young Man to take responsibility, very very different from my Enid Blyton Princes!

The general exposure to life, that he had, also contributed to helping him define just what he wants, fäaaar away from frivolities.

Prince Harry had had enough of Dates.
Yes o.
But really, he was yet to get something that touched reality, to him.
Reality, bothered on something that could bring in happiness (hopefully far from stuff he witnessed of his Parents!), but such that identifies with something dependable, not Fairytale.
…something that could also help to put finesse on his passion to be royal, in a very different and practical way.

Now, this certain blind date, tied two great people who have seen life in different scenarios of hard times, together.

An…d when it was time to take a life-shaping decision, Prince Harry took a Princely decision with no commas of doubt, in his mind.

I guess even the Royal world, has identified a world -wide re-positioning, they now have, that that decision has brought in, to Royalty.

Prince Harry and Meghan are re-writing what true Royalty means, to hearts that want to see aRoyalty you can touch”, as ordinary Men, Women, Boys and Girls.

And I really think I’d wait to read, as more Chapters get unveiled in their Lives.

©Petralyn Ehiz-Phil

Featured image, courtesy of

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