Politics

Our “Aladdin Experiences” In The Hands Of Politrikcians

If you didn’t get to read about “Aladdin And The Magic Lamp” as a Kid eh-n, …”Sôr -rę!”
You surely missed!
Hehe.
But let me help you out with a quick one, sha.
Aladdin evidently lost his Dad, at his formative years.
What that meant, given the kind of setting that the Story’s plot was cast?
Well, his Mom must have had “wueeen”, struggling to raise a Son, with her meager means.

Anyway, there was this certain day that she and Aladdin must have thought that God sent them some relief from hardship when one “Onkuù” came.
Guess what he said at the door after greetings?
“My name is Mustafa”.
I’mlooking for my Brother’s son, Aladdin.
I have been away for a long time but now I am back and as his Uncle I would like to take Aladdin to work for me, so that he can help you by earning honest money.”

You can imagine how much elated, the poor woman became.
Of course Aladdin was suspicious, but had to follow him sha.
I’m looking at this setting now, and irking my right eyebrow in wonder at the story teller.
“Ha!
You mea-n there was no consciousness of something like “gbômô, gbômô” in Aladdin’s Mother’s mind nï?”
Naaä wa o!

Anyway, the “Onkuù” and Aladdin journeyed for one whole day into the Desert, till they arrived at the mouth of a Cave.
Evidently, the entrance was too small for Mustafa to get in, so he asked Aladdin to enter the Cave.
Aladdin was suspicious but then, the “Onkuù” who had refined wayo up his sleeves, played him a pretty smart one and he too, as
“imm tear eye for moni mata”
fell for it, sharp sharp, and agreed to enter the Cave.

What “Onkuù” really wanted?
A Lamp!
Very clearly, the dusty old Lamp was important!
It had Powers that Aladdin wasn’t conscious of, at that time.
But what Aladdin considered as being of more value, were the Gol-d, Diamonds and Rubies.
“Tear eye” pickin.
Ee easy to even see Gold for their house sef?
“You can take as much Gold, etc. as you want.
I only want you to find an old Lamp for me and I will pull you out of the Cave,” Mustafa served, to convince him.
Indeed, the Cave was full of Treasure, just as the “Onkuù” had said.
Aladdin didn’t waste time at all!
He began to help himself first, just the way many people collect Bags of Rice and “Chenkenren Money” from Politrikcians today, in Naija, and eat their way into hardship later on.

Chop my money.

The “tear eye” pickin didn’t only find Gemstones o!
He even luckily stumbled upon a Gold ring which he picked and wore on his finger.
Heh-n
After “settling himself first”, he began to look for the Lamp.
Then he found it and headed for the entrance of the Cave.
When he stretched his hand, expecting the “Onkuù” to pull him out of the Cave,… “Onkuù”, nö com gree o.
Onkuù wanted to make sure that the business that brought him there was sorted first.
So, he asked Aladdin to hand him the Lamp, first.
In Aladdin’s suspicious mind, he didn’t have to trust the “Onkuù”.
So he held on to the Lamp.
See senior wayo and junior wayo, at play, “doing each other” brilliantly!
As go nö gree go, vex begin show.
“Listen, Boy, I am not your real uncle and I don’t care about you!
I will leave you here if I want!
Since you don’t want to give me the Lamp I will block the Cave with this huge Rock,” he shouted, and then, left Aladdin inside the Cave.
Wayo nö suppose dey vex, when “pepper never land”.
Khikhikhikhikhi.

Now, “Junior wayo” who realised that he was in a fix, became miserable and started crying as reality hit him har-d.
How much food was left sef?
He’d only left home with what will “settle bodi” for one day.
Heh-n!
Slowly, “vex” took the reins and began to “show.”
“Stupid old Lamp!
You’re not even made of Gold sef!
What’s it about you that that koni koni “Onkuù” left me to die here for, sef? “


What an experience –if it was real.

Our “Aladdin Experiences” in the hands of Politrikcians are real sha.
Different different “Onkuùs” are everywhere at the moment, gunning for Senatorial, Gubernatorial and Presidential positions, and “forming” they care about us.

Do they care about you?

Well, here’s a piece of advice.
If you are a Parent, don’t be like Aladdin’s Mom.

As for those who want to play the roles of Aladdin, and get carried away with “some change” or “some food” that will last for only a couple of days, don’t get bought with vote buying, etc.
Many of “the promises of those Onkuùs”, smell of wayo, if you can sniff them like a Hedgehog.
Think of your future.
I suggest you demand for a better and more dependable bargain with your votes.
Once these Naija “Onkuùs” get into power, they will forget you in the Cave of Hardship.

Shine your eyes, before you vote.

A Diary of 2019 Badass Campaign Serves …And Stuff We Think!

© Petralyn Ehiz-Phil

14th Jan, 2019

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